Have you spent years trying to make yourself smaller to fit in?
Masking parts of yourself. Overthinking everything. Feeling too much, not enough, or somehow different from everyone around you.
Therapy can be a space where you stop surviving and start reconnecting with who you really are.
Hi there, I’m Laura and I provide counselling and talking therapy to people who struggle with feeling like they have to mask. To over-explain. To keep the peace. To disconnect from parts of themselves just to belong.
This especially includes people who are LGBTQ+, neurodivergent, have long term medical issues or disabilities or are a person of colour.
When you grow up neurodivergent, queer, disabled, a person of colour or any form outside of the ‘normal’ standard, it can feel really hard to fit in.
You might have often been told messages like, ‘you’re too chaotic’, ‘you’re too aggressive’, ‘you just need to try harder’.
Messages that blame, shame and leave you feeling like you’re the problem instead of the environment that won’t make space for you.
So we build masks to look like we’re fitting in.
You might make yourself smaller to go under the radar.
Find yourself reliving a memory, as if it were happening now.
Find saying no really hard because having boundaries is nigh on impossible.
Or maybe just feel like a square peg in a round hole.
But all the while, you feel exhausted – trying so hard while constantly feeling not enough.
The self-critic is working overtime to keep the mask in place but means you’re full of self-loathing.
So you learn to cut off from the parts of yourself that aren’t ok, are chaotic or feel a bit weird. The parts you’re scared of others seeing.
This might even leave you living in a state of trauma, your nervous system in overdrive.
How can counselling help?
• Learn about your nervous system – identify your triggers, what its like for you when your threat system kicks in, and learn hacks to get back to feeling grounded and safe
• Process what’s happened in the past and how that’s showing up in your life and relationships now. Embrace the parts of you that you’ve had to keep hidden so you can move to a place of feeling more whole and healthy
• Reframe how your queerness, neuro-divergence, disabilities or skin colour are an inherent and beautiful part of you and work through what you need (and don’t need) to thrive in the world
• Feel empowered to say no and set boundaries that keep you safe
• Feel less anxious, stressed and depressed. Understand your critical voice and quieten the critical thoughts.
Perhaps you’ve been experiencing…
• Feeling like you have to make yourself smaller to fit in
• Feeling exhausted, maybe close to burn out
• Struggling with critical thoughts or beating yourself up
• Feeling anxious about being around others, especially those you don’t feel safe with
• Recently discovered that you have ADHD, autism or dyslexia and are trying to make sense of how that’s affected your life
• Know that you’re LGBTQ+ but need to process and heal from the harm queerphobia or having to hide your identity has caused
• Struggling with depression, feeling numb or like no-one cares about you
• Sometimes get overwhelmed by memories re-playing in your mind or flashbacks that leave you feeling as if the memory is happening all over again
If any of this feels familiar, I’d love to help - please send me a message and we can arrange a time to talk.
How can counselling help? Find out more…
